Tweaking the Olympics Sport by Sport

Humor Article: Suggested Tweaks to the Olympics by Sport

Sadly this article was written a little late into the process and got rejected twice. I first wrote this lying down on my cell phone because I had an exhausting week (mainly watching so many Olympic events; hard to keep up):

Surfing-The idea of making the Olympics more groovy through the addition of surfing culture is pretty solid. I’m sure we can find some great Jeff Spicoli types to do for the Summer Olympics what Shaun White or Chloe Kim do for the Winter games. The problem is how do you control Mother Nature? Does everyone get the same size waves? It also looks indiscernible to the layman what the difference between winning and losing looks like. It seems like everyone stays afloat for a few seconds and crashes. Honestly, the scoring seems as arbitrary as that episode of Batman where the Joker challenges Batman to a surf-off.

Weightlifting-No offense, but I’ve never been that impressed with the people who just brag about how much they can bench. I didn’t get a chance to see this one, but is that all this sport is? If so, this seems more like a supplement to a Jersey Shore reality show rather than something I want to see in the Olympics. Besides, I’m guessing there are only two things that happen: You either can or can’t lift the bar bell. Where’s the drama in that?