A monologue from a C student who wants to run for Governor of Virginia

This is for a creative sketch writing class I’m taking

Background:

Greg is having his friend record him in a YouTube video. He’s wearing a dress shirt, raggedy pants, and a tie with a poorly-done Windows knot. He was a C-student in high school and most people can tell pretty immediately he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.

[Video hits record]

Greg:
OK, hey y’all. Today I’m breaking from the usual twitch stream about Counter Shift: Global Offensive, because I want to start my campaign for Governor of Virginia.

Anyway, I don’t have a job anymore, I got laid off at the Holiday Inn Express Lexington, but it wasn’t because I was bad or anything. It was because there aren’t as many tourists in the winter when Foamhenge closes down. But I heard the governor talking about job creation during one of my last shifts when the news was playing.

And I was like, well, maybe he has a job I could have? So I looked up his number and called him, and I think I got his secretary or some weird guy who asked my zip code and I was like “none of your business, weirdo, are you gonna send me junk mail?”….but that’s ok, because I had a good idea. I heard the governor’s term-limited, which means….and by the way, I got a B- in political science so I know what I’m talking about….that the governor can’t run again, so his job is open, so I thought maybe I could run for…